Studies show that senior citizens are among the happiest groups of people, and they tend to be more satisfied than their middle-aged counterparts. A telephone survey conducted by Stony Brook University found that people over 50-years-old were happier overall, with anger steadily declining in their 20s through the 70s, and stress falling off entirely in the 50s. Research finds that people get more comfortable as their emotions bounce around less. These studies reveal that negative emotions become less pronounced with age, in comparison to our drama-filled younger years. As we age, we are better able to differentiate our needs from wants and focus on what is truly important to us. A University of Basel study of people aged 18 to 89 found that regardless of demographic and social status, the older one gets the higher self-esteem climbs. Qualities like self-control and altruism can contribute to happiness. While it is true that some seniors can be vulnerable to isolation, overall, they are shown to have superior social abilities and empathetic skills.
Sharper Reasoning
Part of seniors increased happiness is due to a broader ability to prioritize and reason. Brain scans reveal that older adults are more likely to use both hemispheres of their brains simultaneously. This neurological state is known as bi-lateralization, which can sharpen reasoning skills. For example, in a University of Illinois study, older air traffic controllers excelled at their mentally taxing and high-stress jobs, despite some losses in short-term memory and visual-spatial processing. Older controllers proved to be experts at navigating, managing multiple aircraft simultaneously, and avoiding collisions. The study says, “This could be due to better coping abilities. Older people tend to have internal mechanisms to deal better with hardship or negative circumstances.”
More Time for Family and Favorite Activities
One of the most obvious perks of retirement is spending time with family, friends, and other loved ones. Retirement is an excellent opportunity for many to pursue dreams and passions they might’ve put on hold. For instance, you can learn a new language, take time to travel, or finally write that novel. In addition to spending time with loved ones and pursuing new interests and old plans, retired seniors have more time to be civically and politically involved, and they do just that. For example, people over aged 65 vote at a higher rate than any other age group according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau. They also volunteer at high numbers. According to this research, more than 21 million older adults, or one in every four seniors, contributed more than 3.3 billion hours of service in their communities. Based on an average estimate of the value of volunteer labor, senior citizens volunteer service contributes $77 billion annually to the economy.
Among these volunteer opportunities are several federal Senior Corps organizations that are geared specifically to seniors, such as Foster Grandparents and Senior Companions. These programs involve 360,000 senior Americans in volunteer community service activities annually. Seventy-one percent of volunteers to these programs reported less feeling of loneliness and a willingness to further engage in volunteer activities in their communities. There are also many local programs dedicated to senior citizen volunteer opportunities.
Senior Discounts
As small as they may seem, discounts offered to seniors can certainly add up quickly. The discounts offered to seniors can help save money in a time in life where income is usually fixed or limited. These discounts also provide a fantastic incentive to make the most out of retirement, as many of these discounts are for activities like dining, travel, entertainment, and transportation. These discounts also provide a valuable incentive for seniors to make the most of their retirement, for they are often for the exact types of services that help seniors stay engaged and active, such as dining, medication, entertainment, and transportation. Discounts are available for a wide variety of local venues, such as restaurants, museums, movies, as well as more significant ventures such as travel services like resorts, hotels, and airfare. For example, the U.S. National Park Service offers citizens over age 62 and up, a lifetime pass for more than 2,000 federal park sites for $10.
A Sense of Accomplishment
Older people often have a healthy sense of pride that comes from a lifetime of accomplishments. Ordinary achievements like raising a family, being happily married, serving the country, or retiring from a career after years of dedicated service can be a rewarding source of contentment in retirement.
The current and upcoming generations of retirees seek options to enhance their lifestyle choices. While many would prefer to retire in a home where they have lived for decades, living active and independent lives. New options in retirement planning allow seniors to age in place within a retirement community. These communities feature the independence of home but with the reassurance of additional assistance through each phase of aging. Nearly two in 10 Americans aged 70 and older state that they either cannot, or find it difficult, to live independently and accomplish daily tasks without help.
Activities for Everyone
Modern retirement communities can help older adults help themselves. Senior living communities enable their residents to experience a wide range of lifestyle choices. Research has found that active and healthy seniors in assisted living communities went outside more than those living in their own homes and engaged more with their peers. Many who move into a retirement community realize that they are living more independently. With a wide range of dining options and social engagement programs, seniors discover that independence means more than just living outside of a retirement community.
These living communities have common areas to encourage socialization and plan activities and outings for residents. Others who have no desire to socialize, enjoy private living in a home setting where they can have guests at their leisure.
No More Chores
Aside from keeping up with social engagements, a retirement community often takes the burden out of dangerous chores, or just those that become more difficult as we age. While most active seniors are capable of small chores, such as sweeping or changing a light bulb, a retirement community provides a full staff for larger tasks, such as mowing the lawn, clearing gutters, or appliance maintenance. Another benefit of having an entire team within a retirement community is that as a seniors’ ability to accomplish chores deteriorates, there is always someone on hand to provide all levels of assistance, without the senior leaving their home within the community.
While staying in a home where one has lived for thirty or forty years might be comfortable, as we age, it might not be as safe as it once was. Stairs could become more complicated, narrow hallways cannot accommodate walkers, tile floors are slippery, and shelves might be harder to reach. Making home renovations to accommodate our abilities as we age can become costly and overwhelming. When living in a retirement community, these features are built into every home and public area. They include ramps for exterior stairs, wider doorways to accommodate walkers or wheelchairs, indoor threshold ramps, slip-proof floors, and safety rails. Residents may also choose to install a walk-in shower or bathtub.
How Can We Help?
Linden Woods Village offers a high level of service and support for active seniors, those who need a little more assistance, and residents who require a higher level of long-term care. Independent living residents can enjoy a productive and engaging social life while moving at one’s own pace and with full maintenance staff, none of the concerns of traditional homeownership. Our pet-friendly residences feature expansive, light-filled floor plans with full kitchens, in-unit laundry, and complimentary outdoor parking. When residents move into a phase of life that requires more assistance, we offer a higher level of support for those daily activities. We can assist with everything from dressing and bathing to around-the-clock skilled nursing care.
By the time you finish this sentence, three older Americans have fallen. And those falls are dangerous. According to the CDC, an adult 65 years or older falls each second, and that is the number one cause of injuries and death from injury among older Americans. The financial impact of those falls is shocking — $67.7 billion by 2020. CDC Director Tom Frieden said, “Older adult falls are increasing and, sadly, often herald the end of independence.”
Whether your loved one lives independently and is in good health or your loved one is showing signs of slowing down, you need to know what levels of care are available for them. Eventually, they will need extra help. Maybe not tomorrow. Or next week. But maybe in a few years, your mom or dad will start to forget basic things like the day of the week or who the United States’ president is. This is why you need to know what kind of assistance is available.
There are generally four levels of care: independent living, assisted living, short-term rehab, long-term care. Because your loved one’s needs will eventually change, you need to know the answers to questions like “What’s included in assisted living?” and “What does the day of an independent living resident look like?” With this knowledge, you’ll be prepared to help them make the best decisions for their future.
Keep reading to meet June (an independent living resident), John (an assisted living resident), Linda (a short-term rehab resident), and Roger (a long-term care resident).
Independent Living
A Day in the Life — June Wessell, 77 years old
June and her dog, Lady, live in a 1-bedroom apartment inside a senior living community, and her days begin at 7 a.m. After sipping coffee on her small patio, June takes her dog on a walk. During the spring, they walk outside. But if snow is on the ground, they stay indoors. As she passes her neighbors, she often stops to chat about yesterday’s events and the day’s activities. When the two-mile walk is over, June and Lady take a quick break in their apartment before the chapel Bible study at 10 a.m.
At lunch, June sits in her usual seat with her four closest community friends. They reminisce about the good ole days —5¢ Coke drinks and drive-in movies.
At 2 p.m., June listens to a local school’s choir in her community’s event room. Later that afternoon, her two grandchildren visit, and they play their favorite board game Monopoly.
After dinner, June and Lady enjoy reruns of The Andy Griffith Show and I Love Lucy before starting the bedtime routine at 8:30 p.m.
The Basics
As you can see from June’s story, independent living residents don’t need any assistance with daily activities. They’re able to exercise, cook, and do anything they want to do all on their own. Most independent living communities offer many activities and encourage their residents to maintain an active lifestyle. With minimal housekeeping and no internal or external maintenance responsibilities, independent living residents can maximize their retirement by not being bogged down with the inconvenient tasks of homeownership.
Since these private living spaces are for older adults who don’t require assistance, you’ll find amenities like a washer and dryer, patio, and a full-service kitchen just like you would find in a small apartment.
Also, independent living residents are typically offered:
Restaurant-style lunch & continental breakfast
Emergency response pendant system
Transportation to scheduled activity outings
All-inclusive utilities (except phone)
Washer and dryer
Individually-controlled central heating and cooling system
Weekly housekeeping
Storage unit
Complimentary outdoor parking (underground parking is available for an additional fee)
Full kitchen with modern appliances
Daily activities
A Word from a Team Member
Chelsea Freie, the marketing director at Terrace Glen Village, says, “Our independent living residents are full of energy and always involved in community events. Many of them do some of our best marketing work by telling their friends about us because they love living here. Occasionally they’ll need assistance when their television stops working or a light bulb that needs replacing is out of reach. But, for the most part, they live their own lives and have a lot of activities outside of this community.”
To learn about independent living options, call (515) 232-1000 or click here.
Assisted Living
A Day in the Life — John Greene, 89
In his 553 sq. ft., 1-bedroom apartment, John begins each day by watching the morning news. Sometimes he forgets where he last placed the remote so when a nurse checks in on him every morning, they help John find it. He eats breakfast in the assisted living dining room and usually eats cheerios, yogurt, or scrambled eggs.
John loves the morning activities so you can typically find him in the activity room making a new knickknack or craft. At lunchtime, a certified medication aide helps John take his diabetes medicines with the appropriate amount of liquids and food. In the afternoon, John rides to his doctor’s apartment via the community bus where he and the bus driver usually have the same conversation each trip.
Throughout the day, John keeps his emergency response pendant system around his neck in case he needs immediate help because he does struggle with dementia. While he’s out of his apartment, community team members go into his apartment and wash his clothes, replace the linens, and clean and dust. John needs assistance bathing and dressing so a nurse always helps him take care of those needs.
The Basics
Assisted living residents need some help with daily activities like bathing, dressing, and taking the right medications at the right times. Although these residents are given more assistance than independent living residents, they’re still encouraged to be as independent as possible.
Most communities offer the following amenities for assisted living residents:
Spacious 1- or 2-bedroom apartments
Three restaurant-style meals
Emergency response pendant system
Wellness checks and a service plan supervised by a registered nurse
Kitchenette with a refrigerator and a microwave
Transportation to scheduled activity outings and appointments
All-inclusive utilities ( (except phone)
Weekly housekeeping, laundry, and linen services
Individually-controlled central heating and cooling system
Complimentary outdoor parking (underground parking is available for an additional fee)
Daily activities
A Word from a Team Member
Jill Lamb, the marketing director at Colonial Village, says, “Some of our most active residents live in the assisted living part of our campus. Just because they need help with a few tasks doesn’t mean they aren’t active and engaged. If you’re thinking about moving your loved one into an assisted living community, don’t think you would be limiting their independence. In an assisted living community, they have more independence with a team member’s help, and they can enjoy life more.”
To learn about assisted living options, call (515) 232-1000 or click here.
Short-Term Rehab
A Day in the Life — Linda Blackburn, 58
Linda lives in a three-story house with her husband of 31 years, but she fell and broke her leg while walking down the front porch steps on an icy day. So after successful surgery, Linda was transferred to a rehabilitation facility in hopes to return home within a few weeks. At this facility, Linda works through physical therapy each day with a licensed physical therapist. She receives three daily meals and is visited by the community medical doctor each week.
Since this facility is Medicare-approved and certified, Linda will only pay for her stay after the 20th day (as long as she is making progress). After five weeks of slow and steady improvement, Linda returned home.
The Basics
While the above example is very specific, short-term rehabilitation offers other kinds of therapy like occupational and speech therapy. Each therapist works with the patient on their specific needs and goals because everyone’s rehab situation is different.
Most communities offer the following amenities for short-term rehab residents:
Judy Baxter, the marketing director at Westchester Village of Lenexa, says, “I’m so thankful our community offers short-term rehabilitation because I am inspired by those who work hard in their therapy to eventually return home. The nice thing about a continuing care retirement community where short-term rehab is included is that an independent living resident who might fall and break a bone can receive rehab right down the hall — they don’t have to worry about moving to a new community because it’s all under one roof.”
To learn about short-term rehab options, call (515) 232-1000 or click here.
Long-Term Care
A Day in the Life — Roger Hutchins, 84
Roger’s stroke made daily tasks like showering, trips to the restroom, eating, and changing clothes especially difficult. His stroke also worsened his Alzheimer’s symptoms. So Roger’s family moved him to a long-term care facility where the staff could give him 24-hour skilled nursing care. Each day, Roger uses their help to eat, bathe, and change clothes.
His favorite part of the day is the afternoon walk in the courtyard. A nurse will help Roger transfer to a wheelchair, and Roger is pushed through the courtyard for about 20 minutes. The facility does a great job scheduling events for their long-term care residents, and Roger enjoys those events every day before dinner. He especially loves listening to the local elementary school choir sing holiday songs each December.
The Basics
Long-term care is for those who are unable to perform daily activities on their own like eating, bathing, dressing, etc. Ultimately, the purpose of long-term care is to help the resident maintain their lifestyle as they age. Medicare usually does not cover long-term care costs.
Most communities offer the following amenities for long-term care residents:
Summer English, the marketing director at Northridge Village, says, “Even though our long-term care residents need a lot of assistance in their daily lives, they still share so much joy. They teach me each day how to enjoy life to the fullest.”
To learn about long-term care options, call (515) 232-1000 or click here.
Thanksgiving is a time for families to gather and share a meal, to reminisce about old memories and make new ones. However, when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia, such as Alzheimer’s, some past family traditions might cause anxiety and confusion for a loved one, not to mention the additional stress put on a caregiver. Here are some tips to make your holiday celebrations more enjoyable for your loved one, as well as the entire family.
1. Arrange A Quiet Space
Your loved one with dementia can become easily confused and anxious with a crowded space and relatives that may now be unfamiliar to them. Make sure they have a quiet space away from the holiday commotion if they become overwhelmed or exhausted with the day’s activities. If possible, try to host your holiday in a familiar home and reduce travel. Ask that family members come to the home of your loved one or their caregivers. If your loved one resides in a long-term care facility, consider bringing a bit of Thanksgiving to them, instead of checking them out to travel to a relative’s home that they may not be entirely familiar with.
2. Involve Friends & Family
You might have guests in the home who are not aware of the current situation with a family member with Alzheimer’s. It’s important to make everyone who will be joining you for the day aware of your loved one’s condition and status, especially if it is a new diagnosis or their condition has progressed greatly since the last time everyone was together. The added stress of planning Thanksgiving festivities can take a toll on a caregiver. Take advantage of the additional family members in the home for the holiday. Delegate tasks, like cooking or setting up for the meal to other family members to lighten your workload. Or come up with activities for family members to participate in with your loved one with dementia, so the sole responsibility of looking after them doesn’t fall entirely on the shoulders of one person for the day.
3. Celebrate Earlier in the Day
As the day transitions from afternoon to evening, it can have negative effects on those living with dementia. This is known as Sundown syndrome, which can manifest itself in a variety of behaviors, like anger or confusion. One way to reduce its effect on your day is to schedule your primary Thanksgiving meal earlier in the day. If you’ve always celebrated at dinner time, consider moving your holiday meal to lunch or brunch. Not only will this reduce added stress for your loved one, it might even create a new holiday meal tradition.
4. Find Ways to Engage Your Loved One with Dementia
Depending on their mental capacity and physical ability, find small tasks for them to focus on throughout the day. There is much to be done when preparing a large family meal, and there should be some small task for everyone, including your loved one. Can they stir the potatoes? Set the table? Keeping them busy with a familiar task can help calm them down and distract from the unfamiliar aspects of the day. If the usual Thanksgiving preparation tasks aren’t possible for your loved one, establish new traditions that will make them comfortable or reduce their stress level. Have everyone share memories from past holidays, engaging your loved one about what they remember from growing up, or previous celebrations. Look at old photo albums and ask them questions about the past. It’s important to remember to be an active and engaged listener in these situations. Do not interrupt or correct them if they don’t remember the exact version of past events or repeat themselves.
5. Forget the Pressure of the Perfect Holiday
Maybe Thanksgiving this year doesn’t look like it always has, but that’s okay. Your family might not look like it always has either. Instead of focusing on what is different about this year, or how you might be moving away from past traditions, focus on the new traditions you can create.
Traditions and delicious food aside, what Thanksgiving truly comes down to is gratitude and spending time with family and friends, which can be accomplished a variety of ways. It’s important for family to celebrate and not focus on what might have been lost, but instead to celebrate what remains, and remain optimistic about what is to come. If you or someone you know finds themselves struggling with the holiday and caring for a loved one, the Alzheimer’s Association has a helpline that is staffed by clinicians all day, every day (yes, even on Thanksgiving) who can offer support. The number is 800-272-3900.
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How to tell if your memory loss is normal or a sign of Alzheimer’s
The term “senior moment” was aptly coined because the truth is we get forgetful as we age. This is a completely normal part of being an aging human, and shouldn’t be an immediate cause for concern. Unless memory loss is extreme or persistent, it is not considered a sign of Alzheimer’s.
It’s important to remember that memory loss can be caused by numerous situations and diseases. Even if you aren’t concerned its dementia, it could be worth chatting with a doctor to see if your memory loss is a symptom of something treatable.
If you’ve ruled out the above but can’t shake the feeling your memory loss is more serious than simple aging, keep reading. We’ve compiled 5 of the most common signs of dementia. Hopefully, this list will put you at ease, but if the more severe examples sound like you or a loved one, it is a good idea to meet with a doctor for a proper diagnosis.
Potential Warning Signs of Dementia:
1) Memory loss that impedes function in daily life
Short term memory loss, misplacing objects, and struggling to complete everyday tasks can all be signs of dementia.
Aging seniors sometimes find themselves forgetting the name of a person they just met, losing their keys, or fumbling with their internet browser because they’ve forgotten how it works.
With normal forgetfulness, these memories will come back to you later once you’ve retraced your steps or jogged your memory with a sticky note.
There is cause for concern, however, if you are consistently finding yourself forgetting details about your life or how things work. People who have dementia find that they are dependent on other people or memory tools to function day-to-day.
2) Increase in poor decision-making
Poor decision-making certainly isn’t a trait uniquely attributed to those with dementia, it is a problem that can plague all ages.
This can be an indication of a more serious condition, however, when the poor decision-making is a personality change or if the poor decisions are extreme. Suddenly losing consistency with hygiene or making highly irresponsible financial decisions can be signs of dementia.
3) Difficulty with communication
This goes beyond the common feeling of trying to grasp an evasive word. If something feels like it’s on the tip of your tongue, it probably is.
Questions of dementia come into play when someone has trouble following a conversation. They lose track of where they are in the discussion, either by skipping important elements of the topic or repeating themselves without awareness. They can also have a hard time with vocabulary, both by forgetting common words or simply using incorrect words.
4) Confusion with time or place
Forgetting what day of the week it is or why you went into the kitchen are examples of a normal memory fault. These little memory hiccups usually resolve themselves when the answer comes back to you a few minutes later.
A sign of dementia is when you lose track of what year it is, don’t recognize the passing of seasons, or get confused by timelines. Experiencing the past as the present or displaying confusion if things aren’t happening immediately are common behaviors of a person with dementia.
5) Change of personality
There can be many causes for a change in personality, and many of them are common amongst seniors and have nothing to do with dementia. While not the most definitive sign of dementia, it is important to keep an eye on behavioral change when it happens alongside memory loss.
Because of the difficulty in holding a conversation, the challenge of remembering the rules of a game, or the frustration with not being able to remember how to navigate simple daily tasks, people with dementia can often withdraw from family, friends, and hobbies. Fear, anxiety, depression, paranoia, and confusion can also accompany dementia.
So, what do you do if you recognize some of the more indicative signs of dementia in your behavior or the behavior of someone you love? It is important not to delay in meeting with a doctor. Early detection is important in diagnosing Alzheimer’s. Bring someone along with you who can offer support, but who can also help you make sense of what is being discussed. Whether or not dementia is diagnosed, it is worth getting a definitive answer from a medical professional if you’re concerned.
Technology is such a large part of life these days. We are spoiled for choice, and often the noise of too many options can be overwhelming. The tech space is producing some real benefits for people of all ages.
Seniors now have access to devices and apps that improve social connections and cognitive function, as well as keeping them safe and giving a hand with little things that can sometimes be a challenge as we age.
Take a look at the list below, which has curated some beneficial technology options for seniors. While this list isn’t exhaustive, it can get you started navigating the world of tech and discovering for yourself the many ways it can improve your daily life.
Smartphone / Tablet
The features of the smartphone and tablet go way beyond phone calls and emails. There are endless apps that can be downloaded, many of which are free. There are also settings on these devices that allow you to set your text to a larger setting, as well as a voice-to-text feature that types what you speak if your hands are unsteady with the keyboard.
Magnifying Glass with Light – hover it over text and read the larger words on your screen. Perfect for restaurant menus with tiny text.
Pill Reminder by Medisafe – reminds you to take medication and sends alerts to caregivers if a dosage has been missed.
Kindle – download your favorite books on the screen. You can zoom in, highlight, and take notes as well.
GPS – the maps feature can help you find your way home if you’ve gotten lost taking the scenic route. You can also share your location with friends and family.
Words With Friends – Scrabble for the screen. Get your friends an family on the app as well and play each other.
Duolingo – learn one of many languages on offer and keep your brain sharp.
Memory games – there are endless options here, but these can help maintain and improve cognitive function.
Social Media – pick your poison here, popular ones to connect with family and friends are facebook and instagram.
Facetime – a call feature that allows you to video chat with loved ones. Great for feeling close when you’re far away.
Medical Alert Systems
A medical alert system is often a wearable necklace or bracelet that is connected to a cellular or home line. These systems give you the ability to alert a call center, 911, or family member in the case of an emergency with the click of a button. There are many offerings of this service depending on your lifestyle and needs.
Video Games
Video games are not just stationary any more: they can get you up and moving! Nintendo Wii, Dance Dance Revolution, and Guitar Hero are some of the more popular games that actually interact with your movements in the real world. Get up and exercise, dance, play a game of golf, or play the guitar solo of a popular song and see your results on the screen.
Fitbit
A Fitbit is a bracelet that will help you stay on top of your exercise goals. Some features of these activity trackers are counting steps taken, calories burned, and sleep quality. Smartwatches also have these features if you want a watch that can do even more.
Roomba
The Roomba is a hands-free circular vacuum cleaner that cleans the floor all by itself. This is a great idea if your back gives you trouble when you bend over to do the vacuuming.
Ride-sharing
Ride-sharing apps allow you to call a ride to your exact location through it’s GPS services. It saves your payment details so there is no exchange of money at the end of the ride. You can read reviews on the drivers before you get in the car and share your moment-by-moment location with friends and family in transit. There are starting to be endless phone apps for ride-sharing, and it’s hard to know which is better. Uber and Lyft still seem to be the most popular, so it’s best to see which one has the most options in your town.
TV Ears
This technology is for seniors that have a hard time hearing the television. Think of these as personal headphones that allow you to hear the television at your own volume. You set the sound to the level that makes you comfortable without having to disrupt your family or neighbors with your television on too loud.
Nixplay
This is a digital photo frame that is connected to a smartphone app. It allows you to send photos from your phone to the frame. The frame, which you can set up anywhere in your house, rotates through the photos. You can also have friends share photos to your Nixplay device. If you aren’t savvy with smartphones, have a friend or family member set up an account on your behalf. This can be a great way for the family to send photo updates to you through a picture frame in your own home.
Tips for a happy, healthy relationship with your fellow seniors
Senior communities are a great place to make connections, age in place, and feel a sense of safety and ease navigating daily life and healthcare regimes. But to get the most out of what senior living has to offer, it’s important to note that you have to do some of the work. Social isolation can be a common occurrence in senior living communities, which can lead to moreconcerning problems than simple boredom. Social isolation has been linked to depression and more rapid advancement of the illness.
So how do we counteract this to make sure your senior living experience matches the promises of the brochure? Well, like anything in life, you get out of something what you put into it. It may be time to make sure you are doing everything you can to be a good neighbor.
Whether you live in independent living, assisted living, or a healthcare community, many of the opportunities we’ve provided for great neighbor interaction will apply to you. Take a look and freshen up on what it takes to be a friendly neighborhood resident!
Read the rules
There is often a document of some sort governing how shared-living spaces work. Don’t be that person who doesn’t know the rules. All obvious reasons for knowing the regulations of your residence aside, if you inadvertently tread over a boundary usually recognized by your neighbors, the unnecessary faux pas can be socially isolating. Pull out your reading glasses and make sure you understand the quirks of your particular home.
Respect shared spaces
This is a good arena in which to know the rules: do you need to book a shared space if you have family visiting? Are there restrictions about when visitors can come? Are there certain quiet hours of the day best undisturbed by your enthusiastic two-year-old grandson? If you can’t find regulations, chat with your neighbors! Keep them aware of your plans and give them the opportunity to share preferences or concerns.
Sometimes, using your own space can be disruptive to shared spaces as well. Be mindful if using your outdoor space is creating too much noise, or if your TV is up too loud at night.
It’s also worth mentioning to respect other people’s private spaces as well. Living in close quarters can encourage fast friendship, but people often do like to have visitors announced. Don’t forget the courtesy call before stopping by an acquaintance’s place for a catch-up.
Safety first
Whether you live in a shared complex or an independent living facility, your safety is closely tied to the safety of the other residents.
If you see something suspicious, tell someone.
Keep your doors locked.
If anything is broken around your home or around the facility, tell someone.
Get the contact details for your neighbors and their families, and share yours as well.
Set a timer when cooking! A fire alarm being set off in your home can quickly become a community-wide incident.
Don’t forget the staff!
Your peers aren’t the only people you are in close proximity with. Whether or not you connect with the staff in any social manner, they will be a presence in your life day in and day out. When people enjoy their interactions at work, they tend to be more cheerful and take more care with their job. These benefits, along with the potential for conversations with an interesting, multi-generational population, are reason enough to make sure to say thank you and ask a few questions about a staff member’s day.
Be a friend
Making new friends is a completely different skill set than maintaining long-term friendships. Any of the small acts below could open up the possibility of further interaction and potentially new friendships.
Introduce yourself! Someone has to make the first move.
Participate in the social activities organized by your community.
Welcome newcomers with local tips, a dinner invite, and your contact details.
Lend a hand – pick up someone’s mail, help them with their extra bags, hold the door open. A little gesture goes a long way.
Make an extra effort with withdrawn neighbors. They may just need more time to open up.
Enjoy common areas rather than locking yourself in at home.
Organize activities specific to neighbors’ needs – A playdate with similar-aged grandkids so the adults can chat? A less-competitive game of cards with a patient who needs memory care on a night the more competitive game isn’t scheduled?
Join committees or clubs in alignment with your interests or skills. If there isn’t one, start one!
Build a community garden.
Return things you borrow promptly and in the same condition it was given. Was it a dish of food? Fill it with something else to return to the giver with a treat!
Don’t gossip. It’s a quick way to start a conversation, but it is also poison in a group and will diminish other’s trust in you in the long run.
Being neighborly may not be something you’ve focused much on in the past. It may have come naturally, with the local kids bringing together the families on the street and the homeowner’s association looping you in with their regulations and newsletters. Or maybe everyone in your neighborhood kept mostly to themselves, which feels rather normal these days in the suburbs.
If you haven’t given your role as a neighbor much scrutiny in the past, as a resident of a senior living community, it may be time to dig in. A little effort goes a long way in your living situation being everything you were counting on when you moved in.
A helpful guide for navigating a tricky conversation around senior living
There are a handful of conversations we have at different phases of life that carry a stigma. Talking to an aged parent(s) about moving to a nursing home is definitely on that list. The fear of this conversation is understandable and may be keeping you from striking it up. But it is in everyone’s best interest to have the conversation, and have it with care. Here’s a guide of things to consider that may make this conversation much easier to approach.
Start the conversation early
Start it too early. Start it when it feels like it’s relevance is way down the line. This offers an opportunity to have the seed planted long before there is any threat of eventuality raising the emotion of the conversation. Find out what is important to them as a couple, as individuals, and for their family. This way, your parent(s) has the chance to freely share their wishes and you can be armed with that information when the right time comes.
Maybe they already have a specific location in mind! Inquire about waiting lists long before you need them so you’re not in the position of choosing a place based on availability when crisis strikes.
Assess the right time
At some point, the conversation about moving to assisted living becomes a necessity. This looks different for every family, but hopefully you’re able to make this decision a priority before there is a disaster at home.
One great way to identify the right time is to volunteer to come around the house for a project, something extensive like landscaping or cleaning the house, so you can see their range of motion and the state of the household. It will give you an idea of how your parents are faring with the upkeep of their residence while also laying a foundation of good will and trust that could be the opening for a future conversation.
Do your research
Having information prepared always makes a hard conversation less challenging. Hopefully you know your parents’ wishes, but even if you weren’t able to start the conversation early, you know your parents.
Do they want to be closer to family? Do they care about having access to a kitchen to make family favorites? Do they want to live in assisted or independent living? What is the future of their illness? Do they have a pet or furniture they want to bring along?
These are concerns they will raise when the conversation comes, so knowing what their options are that address these needs can be a real lifesaver when presenting the option of aged care.
Consider your language
Often times, family dynamics can be the hardest part of a conversation like this. Even your own assumption that this conversation will be hard can make the conversation hard. Enter into the conversation in a positive and helpful way. Ask questions about how your parent is doing. Present your concerns directly, but also offer a balanced amount of optimism about the benefits of the communities they might consider. Use your knowledge of what matters to them to frame these benefits.
This conversation could bring up a lot of feelings for your parent. Be sure to acknowledge whatever your parent communicates to you, whether positive or negative. People want to be heard, and not only will affirming their concerns let them know you understand them but it will also give you insight into what may be holding them back so you can help them overcome their objections.
And, perhaps most importantly, take it slow. You don’t have to make a decision in a day. This is a huge life change for you parent. Let it simmer for a bit to give them time to adjust.
Personalize it
Mention how much your friend’s mom loves the social aspect of her new home, or how you ran into the son of your parent’s old colleague who says his dad couldn’t be more thrilled about being off the hook for yard work.
If they don’t buy the anecdotes, take your parent to check out places out together! Sometimes seeing a senior community in person can dispel an unsavory preconception. Especially if you can take them somewhere where they already have friends! Seeing the a place up close can help your parents actually envision themselves there.
It’s their decision
As long as it is safely possible, this needs to be their decision and they need to know that you know that. If they’re not ready right away, offer other solutions that bridge the gap and buy them the time they need to adjust on their own. Gift them a cleaning service, update some safety features of their home, or organize home care.
Not forcing the issue and letting your parent decide will make you a safe sounding board for your parent as they processes this idea, but also will make their adjustment when they finally decide to move much smoother and happier.
You may be surprised to find out your parent is more amenable than you imagined, and giving them their own space to decide what their life will look like will make them feel even better about their decision to move forward into this next phase.
Bring in help
If it is getting dangerous at home and you aren’t making any headway, consider bringing in a friend, spiritual leader, or another trusted person to help have the conversation. The truth is, no matter how well intentioned, the adult children of aging parents aren’t always the best person for this conversation. Your road block isn’t the end of the road, often a third party can pave the way when you thought the conversation was going nowhere. Don’t take this personally, let the help you’ve enlisted move the conversation forward and you can focus on being a support system and maintaining your relationship with your family.
Exploring the benefits and regulations around owning service dogs
Many people are familiar with the concept of Guide Dogs, specifically referring to helpful hounds that aid the blind in everyday tasks. What is a little less understood is the parameters of other types of service animals. Everything from the legality of taking them into restaurants or on planes, to questions about what they can or can’t help with and how they are trained.
The senior population has a range of needs regarding health, safety, and lifestyle. The level of assistance needed and the cost involved in acquiring the right guide dog will be different for each person. However, it would be pretty easy to claim that most seniors could benefit from a service animal at some point. At the very least, simply owning an animal has amazing benefits for seniors. But beyond the more well-known reasons why people invest time in their furry friends, a closer look at attributes service animals possess may have you considering adopting your own.
Dog tasks
Before deciding to get a service dog, it’s important to understand what sorts of tasks dogs can be trained to help with. Traditional Guide Dogs have been an extra set of eyes for the blind, but there is so much more a dog can help with when trained appropriately for your condition.
Dogs can be trained to be your ears:
• They can come to get you when the doorbell rings
• They can nudge you until you wake up when your alarm goes off in the morning
• They can come to get you if your partner is in distress
Dogs can be trained to be your legs:
• They can bring you a glass of water to help you take your pills
• They can lift a lever to open the door when the bell rings
• They can bring you the phone in an emergency
Dogs can be trained to be your voice:
• They can deliver notes on your behalf when you wish to communicate
• They can learn to call 911
• They can get go out and get help when you need it
Dogs can be trained to be your memory:
• They can get your attention at the same time each day, reminding you to take your medicine
Dogs can be trained to detect danger:
• They can let you know when your sugar levels drop
• They can warn you when you are about to have an epileptic seizure
A *service animal is a dog who is trained to help someone with the day to day realities of a diagnosed condition. This would include tasks supporting people with deafness, blindness, diabetes, epilepsy, and more. If trained properly and supporting its owner with a defined disability, these dogs are able to accompany their human friend into restaurants, shops, or anywhere else they may need assistance.
There is a broader usage of the term “service animal” that extends beyond the more traditional definition. This is where you see emotional support animals coming in to play. While doctors can write notes recommending patients be accompanied by animals for any host of reasons, there are different laws from state to state that apply when using a more general definition of a service animal.
It is important to know what type of animal you have and where you fall within the law. Understanding your own needs and the letter of the law will make sure you find yourself in a helpful relationship with your service animal and your community. As you do your research, please stick to trustworthy information. There are websites willing to sell you a service dog certification or registration which may not be legally valid. Going through the appropriate channels will help ensure you and your service animal are recognized wherever you go.
And if your needs aren’t consistent with legislation’s definition of a service animal, then you have an amazing pet whose benefits you can enjoy. Not every dog has to be a service animal. It does, however, have to tick all of the right boxes in order to be a service animal.
Training
This element is crucial. Training is what gives the animals the skills they need to be your support system. Training is what allows the dog to be classified as a service animal, which protects you and your service animal under the law. Training is also where the largest part of the investment in a service animal lies.
Whether you are having your own dog trained for the job or adopting a new one, there will be costs involved in getting their skills up to snuff. Keep in mind that it can be a long process and many dog breeds are not cut out for the job, so it is best to engage a professional for at least a consult if you are considering moving forward with a service animal of your own.
Please do your research before diving in. You want to make sure that your animal is trained in an ethical way, in a way that is compliant with your state’s rules and regulations, and in a way that will keep you safe. There are many programs out there that can help you get started on this journey if it interests you.
If you are taking on a new dog, you may consider working with a rescue animal. A mature aged dog will appreciate a happy home and may have an energy level that is more consistent with your environment. Keep in mind that you’ll also want the proper certifications and registrations in order to be protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act if applicable.
Whether you consider yourself in need of a service animal or simply someone whose life may be improved with a hand from a furry companion, it’s worth a dig into the benefits of having an extra set of paws around the house. At the end of the day, animals provide company and assistance, which we could all use at any stage in life. But, always remember that an animal is as much a commitment as a companion. A well-considered decision to take on a new partner could be the best one you’ve ever made.
